Now that all the paperwork is filed, I will become a divorced father living separately from my daughter while my ex-wife continues her life with another man. It's funny, and I probably should feel sad, but the moment I signed the papers a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. Ours is a so-called quickie divorce, which in New York is a fairly new phenomenon. The grounds were "irretrievable breakdown." In reality, she became tired of me and chose someone else. My health isn't good and she would no longer care for me. I guess, given the stresses of life, she has a point.
I see my daughter every weekend and sometimes more than that as my ex wants more and more privacy. I talk to her every evening by phone. She doesn't like e-mail. Our relationship has actually grown since I moved out of her mother's apartment. Maybe that was one of the problems, our marital home was really hers and never ours. Too late now.
I realize that this is a "process" but my quality of life is actually improving. I have lost weight, my various health issues are improving and I have found my purpose for living growing. Maybe this divorce is the best thing that could have happened. If only I could believe that.